Who's Crying Now?

IT'S FUNNY HOW TABLES TURN, HOWEVER I AM NOT GLAD ABOUT THIS BUT THE SISTAS ARE FED UP WITH BROTHAS. I WAS LISTENING TO A TALK SHOW THE OTHER DAY AND ONE OF THE SISTAS SAID AND I QUOTE" THE ONLY WAY WE AS AFRICAN- AMERICAN WOMAN ARE GOING TO HAVE OUR RIGHTFUL PLACE IN THIS UNIVERSE IS THAT WE MARRY OUTSIDE OUR RACE. THAT WAY OUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS WILL HAVE FATHERS AND WE WILL HAVE GOLDEN MARRIAGES AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS. IT IS SAD TO SAY THAT BUT IT IS RINGING TRUE.

BROTHAS DON'T WANT TO BE FATHERS TO THEIR CHILDREN, THEY DON'T WANT GOLDEN MARRIAGES OR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.

TO SAY THE LEAST THEY HAVE FALLEN SHORT OF THEIR INHERITANCE. I WAS TALKING WITH A CO-WORKER WHO HAPPENS TP BE A WHITE MAN AND WE WERE DISCUSSING THIS ISSUE AND HE SAID TO ME AND I QUOTE" I AM GLAD BLACK WOMEN ARE LOOKING OUTSIDE THEIR RACE BECAUSE I WANT TO BE IN THE NUMBER, I LAUGHED.
NOW I SEE THAT OUR BROTHAS ARE ANGRY ABOUT THIS STATEMENT. THIS IS PROBABLY BECAUSE IT IS TRUE AND EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT AGREE WITH MIXING OF RACES, I DO HOWEVER BELIEVE IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND CHILDREN BEING REARED IN A STRONG AND HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT. SO IT TAKES A LATINO, ASIAN OR WHITE MAN TO DO THE JOB OH WELL. THE BLACK MEN WILL SOON SEE THAT THEY ARE SHORT AND STRUGGLING WITHOUT US. SEE YA. OH YEAH AND THEY LOVE OUR VOICTROUS WAYS AND OUR SWAGGLE. LETS NOT FORGET THE BROWN SUGAR. PEACE AND HAPPINESS TO ALL.

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Comment by TJ on March 13, 2010 at 1:17pm

Hey to whom it may concern I'm tired of women who keep saying men are dogs, deadbeats, possessive, etc., etc., Hey I been a good man all my life. I admit i've cheated on some of my girls but I also been cheated on. I moved on after. Y'all know how the saying goes S@#$ Happens and that's the bottomline cause Stone Cold said so. But I have never been a deadbeat I been in my sons life since the day he was born, and can't see me living without him I also have been in my stepsons life since he was seven months old. He is now seven years old. He calls me daddy and his real daddy he don't even want to be bothered with him at all. I don't blame him either because Me and my family are from New Orleans got relocated to San Antonio after Hurricane Katrina. We are still in San Antonio. My stepson's dad is back in New Orleans. We have been back home about 3 or 4 times and not one time did his dad come to see him even though he knew we were in the N.O. Those kind of brothers like that don't need no woman at all whether she is Black, White, Orange, or Purple. Oh it's real it's damn real.

Comment by Brian Franklin on March 9, 2010 at 9:07am: I think that people have to realize that they cannot paint everyone with the same brush. Yes there are some sorry black men but there are sorry men, white, black, brown and green. There are also some sorry women. As for there being no good men, please. I know a lot. What I find is that people tend to rush into relationship and not take time to get to know each other. Next they tend to bring the issues from the past relationship into the current one and create new issues. They also try to change people instead of accepting or rejecting them for who they are.

Comment by John A. Smith on March 8, 2010 at 1:16pm: Look Ladies,
I know that there are some really sorry black men out there. However, there are stll some good ones. Moreover, black men are not the only men that become dead beat dads. White men do the same things. I know several who have done this. Me being only one person; multiply that number by a certain percentage and you will find some dead beat dads in all colors. All i every hear about are the black ones. Why is that? I just don't like it when a black woman who has been hurt by a black man turns her back on all of us. It is just not fair. I don't like it and I will not accept it. Peace and Understanding, John

Comment by WC2c on March 8, 2010 at 12:12pm: @JOHN you do know they are in the minority? It never fails to happen...a good man ..claiming he knows lots of good men. REALLY!!!!! Or is it just the good 'old boys club turning a blinds eye to the misdeeds of his peers. Very few men believe it is wrong to cheat (especially if he thinks there is no way he can get caught) so if his buddy is dipp'n somewhere else so ...'he is still a good man' NO! HE IS A LIAR AND A CHEAT!!! THAT DOES NOT MAKE THE GOOD MAN LIST! Very few men will correct his buddies for disrepecting their wife or abusing her (if he is privy to such behavior...) they claim..."that is none of my concern" and will still watch the football game and throw back some beer with the dog. Just because a man pays the house note and shows up for feeding time doesn't mean the guy is treating those closest to him...i.e. his family.. with respect.

Further, you never know what goes on behind closed doors of a relationship. When I divorced my second husband, a family friend was SHOCKED. She stated, you guys seemed so happy...we (her husband and her) thought you were the 'IDEAL COUPLE'... WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED?" And I must admit, when out in public my ex was MR CHARMING. (I saw his fake ass impersonator whenever others were around.) Yes I selected him and married him BUT honestly, the day after we got back from our honeymoon HE FLIPPED THE SCRIPT. HE CHANGED AND NOT FOR THE BETTER. It was like I did not even know the man. He became possessive and controlling almost paniced struck if I was 5 minutes late. As the marriage progressed I found out more about his relationship with his father .... serious unresolved abandonment issues which led him to be totally self absorbed with his needs being met and the hell with everyone else. I said all that to show ... WHAT WE SEE IN PUBLIC IS NOT ALWAYS THE SAME PERSON IN PRIVATE.

PEOPLE WEAR MASKS TO HIDE THEIR WOUNDS. But when they get out of public view or earshot. THAT IS THE REAL PERSON ONE IS DEALING WITH. Most of the behaviors females are FED UP WITH... IS A DIRECT RESULT OF THE MAN'S INABILITY TO COPE RATIONALLY AND WITH A NURTURING SPIRIT TOWARD THE FEMALE. It really has nothing to do with money, time, life style...it does however have everything to do with EMOTIONAL INTELLEGENCE IN A RELATIONSHIP and that doesn't take a Ph.D or a six figure income.

Finally, I do feel there is a lack of APPRECIATION ON THE PART OF BOTH GENDERS.... which is more valuable than CREDIT. Credit implies...recognition for or built up equity (so that when y'all good men do fall flat on your face for some stupid misdeed or miscalulation you will not be dealt with to harshly i.e. you will be given a pass cuz WELL MOST OF THE TIME HE IS ON POINT WITH HIS MANHOOD.

Appreciating and credit ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT VANTAGE POINTS.

As far as dating outside ones race.... DO IT BECAUSE YOU TRULY ENJOY THE PERSON...not out of spite for what 'da bruthas is lacking. REMEMBER LADIES...you are looking for HAPPINESS AND LOVE not trying to PUNISH THE VERY MEN WHO WOULD NEVER MAKE YOUR LIST OF QUALIFIED APPLICANTS TO SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH. These jokes didn't meet your most basic standards..IT IS NOT ABOUT THEM..IT IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FUTURE TO FIND LOVE AND GROW A FAMILY.

Comment by Queendom on March 8, 2010 at 11:15am: @John..Sure there are good men out there, but they are scarce. Let's be honest. I'm sure you know plenty of men you wouldn't wish on your daughter. I blame women for giving of themselves too freely, for very little in return. As far as good men getting credit..you want credit for what you suppose to be doing anyway?

Comment by John A. Smith on March 8, 2010 at 11:07am: This is so bogus! There are still a lot of good Black Men out there. I consider this an insult to the Black Men who do their part and take care of business. We still get no credit for our efforts. I still don't believe in Race Mixing. If that is what you want; SEEE YAAA.

Comment by Mark in the ATL on March 8, 2010 at 6:56am: Brian, you hit the nail on the head. Far too many Black women are willing to have children with complete knuckleheads. Use some birth control!

Comment by Brian Franklin on March 7, 2010 at 10:00pm: First don't believe the hype. Selecting a mate for a life time is not easy and race has very little to do with compatibility. The grass is the same on the other side. The divorce rate for whites is high. I think the problem sisters have to face is that too many of them are willing to waste their time with immature men. Also stop having children before a man is willing to commit to you. No all men want the responsibility of being a step-parent. (I am a step-parent by the way and it is a lot of work and a lot of love but not everyone is ready for it)

Comment by Queendom on March 7, 2010 at 8:45pm: I totally agree. The numbers of Black single mothers are explosive and shameful. I tell my daughter not to limit herself to Black men because their availability is always decreasing. As much as I want to admire the black men, it is getting more difficult. They don't seem to mind. either.

Comment by Brenda Smith on March 7, 2010 at 8:13pm: I personally don't see anything wrong with dating outside of the race. Love and Feelings are colorless. When it comes to matters of the heart, it shouldn't matter what race a person is. However, I agree that the brothers are falling off. The need to step their game back up like our grandparents. What happen to the days of long lasting relationships? People need to stop being so closed minded and expand their horizons.