Are married women more respected than women who shack up?

Comment

Comment by DCPhilly on January 7, 2009 at 11:28am

I adopted this philosophy a few years back...you are either married or single...""living together or "in a relationship" are not defined categories they are sub categories of being single. I learned a few lessons from establishing this distinction in my own mind. So if you want to end singlehood, you get married.

Comment by Kris'Kisses on January 7, 2009 at 10:38am

Well thats hard to say b/c some married women don't get respect either. But i can say from experience that as a women shacking who was shacking up, i didn't get the respect. I was like his wife w/o the ring. I did everything a wife would do. That's probably where I went wrong. In the end he didn't respect me or appreciate me. 6 years together and he would not marry me. So I believe that if we were married he would have respected me more and appreciate me more. I should have waited on the things a wife does instead of doing it off the jump.

Comment by humblelady on January 7, 2009 at 1:03am

Yes, Married women are respected more. Women who shack up are VIEWED at a Different angle.
If you think about it there is a difference.

Comment by Iyawo on January 7, 2009 at 12:00am

Of course self-respect is the most important way to get respect -- married or not, if you're not a respectable person and you don't behave honorably you won't get respect.

With that said, however, married women are ABSOLUTELY respected more than women who are "shacking" with their men. Absolutely. As SCOTT said, people won't necessarily come out and say anything about it because "it's 2009" and the belief in marriage is "old fashioned" and [fill in the blank with a reason why married women shouldn't be respected any more than women who shack] but people do look at the situation differently. Period.

It's not just "church folks" either. Even a pimp will often refer to his hoes as "co-wives" or "wife-in-laws" because, despite doing what they do, they understand something about the values of loyalty and commitment that being a WIFE entails. As someone above said, if a man approaches a woman and she says "I got a man" often times they will still persist but if she says "I'm married," some will persist but most often they won't -- I've had much personal experience with that. Being married at least implies that you are committed to that individual both spiritually and possibly legally. The dynamics of the marriage notwithstanding, you have sworn you allegiance to that person -- whether you uphold that vow or not is between you and your Creator, whatever you call Him or Her, but the outside world tends to respect the fact that you made the vow.

Now of course this doesn't mean that women (or men for that matter!) who shack should be disrespected, by any means. No one has the right to disrespect anyone who carries themselves honorably. The truth, however, is the light! And the truth is that married women do get a higher level of respect. Even if the marriage doesn't work out, there's a difference between being an "ex-wife" and being a "baby's mama."

Comment by SCOTT FREE on January 6, 2009 at 10:24pm

I DONT THINK PEOPLE WILL COME OUT AND VERBALLY SAY IT , BUT IF YOUR MARRIED WITH KIDS YOUR LOOKED UP UPON, AS OPPOSED TO BEING SHACKED UP WITH KIDS.. MOST MARRIAGES THESE DAYS DONT SEEM TO LAST. AS LONG AS THE COUPLE RESPECTS AND LOVES EACH OTHER THAT PIECE OF PAPER SHOULDNT MATTER..............

Comment by Carmen L. Miller on January 6, 2009 at 10:23pm

I respect people based on who they show themselves to be. OK, now a lot of people may think thta it is a judgmental perspective, however.... let's be for real. We are all human and not these "all-accepting" super beings that we pretend to be online. I am not afraid to be honest because I have lived on both sides of the fence. Here is the truth!!! I cannot respect people with seventyleven kids by a million different folks. Your choices are your own, yes. sometimes stuff just doesn't work out, sure. But there is birth control, right? I cannot respect a man who will lay his rusty boots under the same bed for twenty years and never propose... what do you think is gonna happen? you think you're gonna find somebody better? don't nobody want your old indecisive azz. Marry her. I cannot respect the fact that someone would die with three kids by the same lady and she would still have to fight with his momma over insurance money to raise the kids.
So while the Christian love in me does not wish ill on anyone, and genuinely extends lovingkindness to them... I can't honestly say I respect "all" people and their choices. And I personally do not believe that you guys do either.
(All= murderrs, thieves, rapists, etc. i would just be careful of making blanket statements like that)

Comment by queen on January 6, 2009 at 10:06pm

THE REASON WHY PEOPLE RESPECT THE COUPLE THAT IS married VS SHACKING. ITS HAS TO DO WITH THE RULES OF GOD VS RULES OF THE DEVIL. THE BIBLE SAID COVER THE WOMAN.... MEANING MARRY THAT WOMAN BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER. I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE HAVE ISSUES ABOUT SHACKING BUT ITS OK TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT BEING MARRY! WHAT IS THE DIFFERENT! OR CHILDREN OUTSIDE OF WEDLOCK

Comment by Tiana on January 6, 2009 at 8:46pm

not by me

Comment by Seasons Change on January 6, 2009 at 8:08pm

I can't say that I respect married people more than single people, especially in this day and time. Whever I see a married couple, especially the men faces has CHEATERS written all over it. Marriage is not as respected today as it was years ago. I believe that all married men cheat. so why get married.

Comment by Sunshine on January 6, 2009 at 7:24pm

When you make a sacrifice to become husband & wife; this is far more respectable.
Shacking is risky...nothing to work at; takes the fun out of the relationship.
All the hard work you put towards the relationship and it goes up in smoke.
Just leave; It's like renting a home without a foundation.. Be a role model for the children.

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